By: Bethelhem Teame
As he slowly opened his eyes to the morning sun, that cast its warm rays through the windows of the bedroom balcony, his mind slowly registered the unfamiliarity of the bedroom he was in. He thought it was a dream-unfamiliar one at that. A strange one – one that is both exciting and disturbing at the same time.
He closed his eyes as if closing them would help him teleport his body to his familiar bedroom that he has been occupying for a longtime now. In that familiar bedroom, a familiar body stirs next to him every morning. In that familiar bedroom, the rays of the sun sneak in from the opposite side of the room unlike this one and gently caress his feet before it spreads its warmth and playfully kiss his face with its warm touch.In that familiar bedroom, “Good morning” purrs his wife in his ears when he bended to plant a kiss on her mouth.
He knew. He knew what he has done. He didn’t dare stir lest he makes a sound on the unfamiliar bed he occupied. He closed his eyes,trying to shut out everything that happened last night. He was not drunk….nor was he drugged. He knows deep down a drink or two won’t make him walk on fire or play with knife but that is exactly what he did last night. She didn’t seduce him either, she wasn’t such a woman but they have ended in each other ‘s arm. It has happened although seduction or booze or both have no hand in that.
He closed his eyes but only to open them abruptly as if it burned to close the lids of his eyes….he wanted and needed to avoid what he saw as he closed his eyes….she was still fresh in his mind. Pretty, sweet, gentle and kind. She was smiling followed by that girly giggle of hers that drove him crazy with desire- a wild desire.
A bead of tear trickled down from his eye-unannounced and unwelcomed. He closed his eyes again, this time grudgingly and slowly, as if trying to mastermind what he should see when he closes his eyes….oh there she is, the person who he should have been seeing whenever he closes his eyes, his wife. He smiled….but it didn’t reach his heart. He knew the result was forced, it didn’t come out naturally. He hates anything that lacks sincerity and he knows more than anyone he is not being real to his heart.
The body next him stirred, slow groans of sleepiness followed by movement under the bed sheet. He tried to shut his eyes and pretended to be asleep….but he was scared to death to find out that his body doesn’t listen to him whenever she is around him. He was alert all of the sudden. He wanted to see her face as she wakes up….would she look like an angel even with her tussled hair and sleepy eyes? He turned around to confirm his doubts…her eyes were huge with terror as she realized what has happened last night but sleep was still at the end of her beautiful and soulful eyes…her lips have now added volume courtesy of his long and passionate kisses the other night….her hair is now all tussled and disheveled but it seems to add some untold beauty to her face, that face that does wonders to his self-control which he usually keeps at check and at hand.
His hands stretched out and brought her close to his side, that is probably when he found out that he has lost his mind. He was never such a man. He loves his wife. He doesn’t want to hurt or harm his wife. It only has been six month…for the love of God they are still newlyweds in the eyes of the others around. But he can’t help how he feels when he looks into those deep eyes of this woman. It is as if he is hypnotized, as if something is pulling him inside, as if he is in trance.
He often hates her for the power she has over him. But she never has forced or seduced him….either; he goes to her willingly, he obliges to the invisible pull she controls him with, he goes to her willingly but why does he hate her if he is totally defenseless in front of her? what did she do?